Displaced Homemakers: Forgotten Women

Susan Brannon
8 January 2012

Searching on Google.com the term "Displaced Homemakers" seems to be a forgotten class in society.  Sure you can find what the term means, but most of the entries are based on programs to assist the displaced homemakers in various states around the country.  Most of the enteries are from the 1980's. Yet they still exist.  We still exist.
Good ole fashioned motherhood has not stopped from our American existence, and when there are stay at home mom's there are bound to be displaced homemakers.  Some of us have young children and some of us are older with our children all grown. 

Why has this segment in our society been forgotten and ignored ? Is it because anymore it is not an honor to be a stay at home mother?  I remember for me it was always frowned upon during the peak and rise of the women's lib movement.  People would ask, "What do you do?" and I would reply, I stay at home with my five children.  The conversation would then just go dead and the silence would seem to have lasted a lifetime.  Now, many women chose to stay at home with their children if at all possible and I do not blame them.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to be the person to oversea the health and well being of your child.  I say, more power to you and if you can do this, please do!

However, it always breaks my heart to have to offer the unsolicited advice of, at the same time that you run the home and take care of your family do NOT forget yourself.  You never know what can happen in the future.  I hate to take away the dream of being at home and having your family provided for with all the love and excitement in such a beautiful time in one's life.  Okay, so what shall we do about this forgotten segment and the desire to raise your own children? 

If you are a mother at home with young children I say this:

• Save money and put it aside for your future.  Take something from the food budget, gas or whatever.  Save and save some more.  If you don't need it later, then you and your husband will have a wonderful holiday when your children are all out of the home!  If something happens, you will have something to fall back on to sustain you until you can get on your feet.
• Even if you volunteer in the schools, this will not bring enough career experience to help you to land a job.  Unfortunately, you will find that most people sort of draw back from you when you find yourself in need, divorce, or in troubles.  Don't expect any assistance from anyone that you became close to in your circle of volunteer colleagues.  This is sad to say, but true.  I have heard too many stories of confused mom's who volunteered hours and hours with school, PTA, and sports who noticed that no-one really wanted to "become involved" and help.  Again I say, don't count on that experience, but make sure that you work on an education once your children are in school when you have more time for building your interests.  Then find some part-time work, even if it is only a few hours a week to build professional experience and references.  
• If it is important for you to build credit, I normally do not advise credit cards at all to anyone however, acquire a credit card in your name only.  Use it once in a while and this will help you to build your own personal credit.  This is important.  It is also important to pay off what you purchase on a monthly basis, do NOT let your credit amount get higher than you can pay off each month!

If you are an older and mature women who has suddenly found yourself alone with your children already from the home...well you will have a long and somewhat difficult road to walk on.  Hopefully, you have found a really really good divorce lawyer who has bargained on your behalf for alimony and retirement.  If not, then you will have more work to do than normal.  If you are in the process of divorce, then by all means, borrow what money you will need to acquire a very good lawyer it will be worth it in the long run.

This blog has many different options to consider with links and references to consider.  Because this part of society is forgotten, it is important that we stand together to support one another through the process to get on our own feet.  Displaced homemakers are more likely to live in poverty, sometimes shunned by society, and job interviewers, and during this economy it will be even harder to get and stay on your own feet.
Just know that we are out there and you are not alone.